Those of you who know me well know my terrible secret:
I take that back. I don't hate it.
I loathe it.
Perhaps, then, you can appreciate the effort it took for me to go out today to find a dress.
I wanted a nice dress.
A pretty dress.
A graceful dress made of natural fibers.
What did I find?
Awkward dresses made of polyester.
Who said it was okay to make dresses out of polyester???
And, no, I wasn't shopping at WalMart.
I went to Macy's.
I've had much luck there in the past.
It is pointless for me to buy anything other than Petite sizes. I've tried it in the past. I just look like I'm a little kid wearing Mom's clothes.
I think the buyers were smoking crack when they decided to foist this crop of petite dresses off on unsuspecting vertically challenged shoppers.
I actually found myself in a dressing room trying to choose which dress was least ugly.
I slapped myself and left.
I'll wait until the mean dresses go away.
Meanwhile, I'm going to practice my flute...
...in my pajamas.