Sunday, September 9, 2007

Keeping Love Alive

How many times have we heard the words, "I just don't love him/her anymore". In this day of revolving door relationships, it has probably been more than once.

So how do we keep love alive?

I plead guilty to having bought into the fairy tale, peddled hard to every young girl, that "some day my prince charming will come and we will live happily ever after."

Two failed marriages (long story, long time ago) brought that magical thinking to an end!

So how does one keep the love alive?

It's in the little things.

Take today, for example.

Somehow the original Disney "Cinderella" had gotten to the top of our Netflix queue (not my fault, man! We..uh...we were on vacation and...the queue just got away from me...)

Unbelievably, I had never actually seen it.

Bob and I finally sat down to view it this afternoon (and men, that is a true act of love!).

Picture this:

It's Sunday afternoon, we've just watched the ultimate princess fairy tale, and I've achieved the state of blissful relaxation that just demands a long siesta.

I'm poised to make my move to the air conditioned bedroom when Bob stands up and says, "I'm going to Fry's Electronics to return those cables I got yesterday."

What? Have a nice time, darling. I'm taking a nap!

I try this: "The lines will be really long today. Can't you go tomorrow?"

My eyelids are growing heavier, and the very thought of Fry's, much less the freeway, is interfering with my state of perfect lassitude.

Bob: "I thought the traffic might be worse tomorrow."

He's probably right.

Me: "Oh no, the traffic going south on the 405 mid day during the week isn't bad."

Bob (kindly): "I wasn't expecting you to go with me."

Me: "Well, you go have a nice time. I'm going to take a nap."

Then I realized something.

Bob is trying to get our combined office/studio into some form of order so I can teach in there on Friday.

Here's what happened next:

I thought about what would have happened at the beginning of our relationship. Unable to endure such a lengthy separation, I would have said, "I'd love to go with you."

We would have held hands in the car and talked all the way there.

We would have held hands in the store and indulged in the occasional smooch.

We would have held hands in the car on the way home.

Then I got to thinking, "Bob would come with me if I had to go somewhere, even if it was somewhere with lots of pink."

There I was, wrestling with the indulgence of a perfect nap (alone) or the prospect of getting on the freeway and going to a crowded electronics store (with my husband)

I'd love to say the decision was an easy one, but it wouldn't be true.
I wrestled with my selfish desire, my right, dang it, for afternoon slumber. It seemed so lovely. It seemed so right.

Then I's the little things.

So we got in the car together.

We held hands in the car and talked all the way there.

We held hands in the store and indulged in the occasional smooch.

We held hands in the car on the way home.

I'll remember that longer than any nap.

what keeps love alive.

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